"Better you than me..."

The famous words I hear so often when I inform someone that I teach middle school. The gasps, the sighs, the dramatic eye rolling...was middle school really so bad for so many people? And when you're on the other end of referral, with the power and righteousness, middle school can be damn near awesome.
Growing up, I knew that a good ole "Pro vs. Con" list always worked when making an important decision. Let's use this format for the debate: "What grade should I teach?"
Elementary--> PRO: only 20 kids a day. CON: same 20 kids for 6 straight hours
Middle--> PRO: Kids who can argue a point passionately but still want your approval. CON: Teaching the same lesson 5 times a day can at times make you feel slightly mentally ill. Deja vu? Did I already talk about classification???
High--> PRO: Kids can work by themselves, leaving you hours of internet shopping time. CON: Now the real (as in "permanent record") shit can hit the fan. Skipping school? Fine, we deal. Stole a car while skipping school?....This could look really bad for the teacher who occasionally forgets to take attendance.
When it comes down to it, I know my limits. Elementary school is not for me. Snotty-nosed ankle biters all clambering to get in my lap during story time??? Ever heard of swine flu?! No thank you! And those age-old arguments that I hear out of the catty girl groups when I pick up my daughter from school: "You are SO not my friend! You wouldn't let me carry your back pack! I hate you!" (sob, sob). Here's me in the parking lot: "Hey little girl, don't cry. Here's a nice big bag of papers to grade. You can take it all the way to my car. OK? Feel better?"
And no, I wasn't arrested.