Home Wrecker or Life Saver?

So, I was thinking, it's all about your mind set. How you get through a day of work, decide what's for dinner, tolerate a 6 year old picking out socks, whatever, it's all about how you approach the situation.

For example: My students at school can drive me nuts on a daily basis. Run over my foot with a tractor, and that will be a better day than some of my days at school. Recently, my students all caught a case of amnesia (it must be wide spread; other collegues complained of the same phenomenon): they all "forgot" to be in their seats and quiet when the bell rang. Now, I'm understanding and patient. It's only the 29th week of school; maybe they haven't gotten the routine yet? I had a decision to make: yell my head off (negative) or approach the situation with humor (positive). So I went for the good stuff: I held up a timer and hit the button. The kids looked at me like I was nuts, which caused them to stop chatting about who was texting what to whom. I announced "Very good, only took 12 seconds to be quiet. But you did not win. First period got quiet in 3.8 seconds. What a pity. We'll try again tomorrow". They were silent; it was victory!

Which brings me to my final statement on positive thinking. In a recent conversation, I referred to my almost-ex-husband's girlfriend as "Homewrecker" (I don't have the advantage of remembering her name every time I check out my shoulder!). My man pointed out to me:" Stop calling her Homewrecker. Her new name is "the best thing that ever happened to you". So true. Point taken.

Love for a Lifetime...

So, you want to show your one true love that she has captured your soul? What do you do? Propose? No. Have her move into your house for some homebound bliss? Not special enough. No, you are cunning. You are an individual. You want to do something that screams "I have never felt this way before and I love you!" You....well, here's how the story goes.

(All names have been changed to protect the idiotic). Rick and Gema have been together for what seems like a lifetime (about 10 months). They met during an idllyic time: he acting single while still married, her with 2 toddlers. Beer flowed, sneaking around occurred, and before you could say "separation", we have a new couple! Only a wife didn't know about it, never got the whole story either, but I digress. Rick thought to himself, 'How do I show Gema that I think this is a permanent situation? That she is my one and only?' What else? Name tattoo.

Note to audience: Fill in the blanks. Put two and two together. And know that this story, while sad, is true. Which is probably the most disappointing part of it all. You can't save someone from themselves.

Living in a Paradox...

and no, I don't mean two piers, thank you. (get it?! pair-o-docks?!) Why is it that when I run out to Food Lion in my worst, paint-covered, food-smeared, too tight top band sweatpants, giant "I recently had gastric" looking sweatshirt and SLIPPERS, that's when I run into a student or ten and their hot dads?!?! Seriously, you cannot win this phenomenon. When I get really gussied up, like a night on the town or a "I will drink the 30 year old right out of me" outing with da ladies from work, that's when I run into the Mormon parents that I had a conference with the day before. So....either I am a slob or a slut. There is no in-between when you live in a small county.

Sasha (n.): A female goat who has an old soul and kind eyes. She often looks at you with that "I know exactly what you're saying" expression.

Amber: (n.) A goat with sunshiney eyes who gets scared when the neighbor's dog barks. Also describes a female goat who follows the crowd instead of making her own path

Virginia is for Lovers...WV is for lovers within a family tree

So Carrie thinks she's leaving us, huh? Well, the sad goat says otherwise! It just hasn't been the same since Carrie left the great state of VA. We need her back, right? So with a heavy heart and a tear in my eye, we will be saying goodbye to Carrie, hub, and baby dog, but I know that they will return to the great state one day! Really, Carrie not live next to an ocean??? Really?!?!

And only a plane trip away, and I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon (probably not very close to OK, but closer than a trip from Va, right?).

Kitchen Chaos

So 10 inches of snow on the ground, 2 new goats, and what do I decide to do? Tear out my kitchen. Did the last one do its job? Absolutely. Was it functional? Absolutely. Was it ugly as sin? Absolutely.

Yea! My cabinets are going to be ready early....as in 20 days. So my hardwood floor is in splintery pieces in a nice pile on my carport and I' m sure my neighbors love the "my house threw up all belongings in the front yard" look. Nothing says "lazy previous owners" like FIVE layers of linoleum in the kitchen! Really, what does it take to remove a layer of blue flowered 70's flooring? Apparently, more muscle than existed in my house.

I like to be original, so while everyone else is saving money during the recession, I'm ordering maple cabinets and debating pros and cons of quartz versus granite.

Where Did Your Goats Get Their Lovely Names?

So, you may be asking yourself...where did your goats get their lovely names? Did a fashion-forward farmer attach these monnikers to your little animals before you received them off the back of a "farm use only" vehicle? Heavens, no! Amber and Sasha got their names from a little 8 year old with a dream and a bag of goat feed...Garrett.
Garrett though of these names on his own. I wanted to point out that some women of low character (a.k.a.--streetwalkers) sometimes use these names, and while visiting various establishments near the WV line during my years at Tech, some girl "dancers" were graced with these names. But I left that alone. And the names stuck.
You should see me....I am a disaster with the girls! I coo to them from the back porch, especially when Sasha jumps up on her goat house and sticks her nosy head through my screen windows. I talk in a nice, soothing voice when I bring them feed at dawn, then turn around & give a biting, sarcastic answer to Tim if he asks for a bottle of water. I have no shame....I am in love with my goat girls!

Can You Blame a Girl for Going Crazy in this County???

King George County...a place to find a job, meet new people, maybe discover love, and definitely enjoy a lack of zoning laws! When goats bleeting in your backyard replace your alarm clock on Saturdays, you have arrived at country life.
So what kind of insane person moves into a new house, changes her status box on her IRS forms from "Married" to "Separated", finds a new and amazing man, moves him into her house, rips out a perfectly functional, if not particularly attractive, kitchen, and then adds two goats to the mix...meet Jessica :)