Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Leapin' Forward, Lookin' Back

I got a spark of inspiration from my sista's blog post about where she was four years ago on the last Leap Day. So it got me thinking....what was going on in the tiny little life of Jessica N. Drinks back on February 29, 2008? I mean, for starters, you would have to ask Jessica N. White....
And she would tell you the following facts:
1) On 2/29/08, I was sitting in the first house I owned with my ex-husband, having put the kids to bed by myself while my husband-at-the-time was out drinking and partying until 3 am with his new "friends" most definitely, his new girlfriend most likely, and I was a glorified babysitter and house sitter to him.
2) On 2/29/08, I was one month out of having been told by my husband-at-the-time that he was no longer in love with me, felt stiffled and suffocated, and wanted a divorce. No counseling. No discussion. Not surprisingly, I am also down 20 pounds at this point.
3) On 2/29/08, while I sit on my couch in my quiet, cold house and stare out the blinds wondering when/if my ex-husband will come home that night (it was a gamble at the time--you never knew if he was going to wander back in the dead of night or show up the next day), I never could have imagined what a difference four years would make.
4) On 2/29/08, there was no Timmy in my life. There was no Emily. There was no little brick house on Dahlgren Road. So in four years, you realize that a lifetime can change. You look back and don't even recognize yourself from back then. Did I really drag myself into work every morning, eyes red, no smile, no enthusiasm because my husband chose to not choose me? Because I'm a world away from that now. At the time, I thought I was losing everything. In fact, looking back four years later, I have gained everything worth having. A wonderful husband who could not be a more perfect match. Another beautiful baby, and a new appreciation for the two I already had. My first niece! A better life than I could have ever imagined while sitting in that house that is no longer mine, never really was, waiting for a husband that wasn't worth the time or effort or frankly, any more mentions in this posting. Because the following has happened:
1) On 2/29/2012, I live in a warm, wonderful house with the best husband in the world and children that thrill and excite me every day and make me proud to be their mother. I have a job that I like, friends that like me, a little money in the bank and a lot of love. And that's all I need.

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